You Can’t Make This Stuff Up: Edition 1 – The One About “Dog”Jack and Bella

A gorgeous afternoon here in the Pacific Northwest, so I decided to take my pre-lunch walk with the dogs. I take them separately because together they are not much fun for me. The walk is around the neighboring development and is exactly one mile per lap. The separate walks makes for more exercise for me anyway.

Bella goes first because she is the lady….and demands it. As we hit the ¾ mark, a little dog comes running out from behind a house. Great. The dog is obviously unleashed and has no collar, identification, or passport. He does however like Bella. He is so fascinated with her that he begins to follow us hot on her heels. She is unimpressed. I keep trying to tell him to go home…go back…skedaddle…all of the above. I even try to gently grab him, but to no avail. “Dog” as I now have affectionately call him is all about Bella and me. He continues to follow us all the way home, which means out of his housing area. My plan is now to switch dogs and walk him back.

The plan was good in thought, but Captain Jack didn’t approve. He and Dog became instant enemies as soon as Jack walked out the door. I dragged my pirate dog back into the house kicking and yelping, took the leash with me (for what purpose I still don’t know because Dog had no collar). I decided to walk Dog back to where he picked us up. Bella was happy to be rid of him.

I found it cool that Dog walked, skipped, and generally bounced back with me. Any time I called for him, he immediately caught up with me, jumped on the back of my legs, and happily tailed along. As we turned the corner back up the street he came from, I saw a young lady at the corner house. I asked her if she had ever seen Dog, “Yes. He belongs to the people in that house,” and pointed across the street. The young lady of the other house came out and we delivered Dog back to her sans a thank you. I figured I did my good deed and picked up an extra half mile of walking in the sun.

After getting back, I made lunch and watched a little bit of NFL Insiders on ESPN. Lunch was leftover nachos, so I figured taking Captain Jack for his walk now would be a good idea for both of us. I harnessed him up to his leash and we briskly strolled out of the house and started heading on our route. And then we saw him…


The little white and brown floppy eared mutt was running (and I mean running) back down my street towards our house. The growl I heard emanating from Captain Jack’s throat persuaded me to get Jack back inside. I came back out (again with the leash…now it was a superstition thing) and asked Dog to follow me back again.

Yogi Berra talked about “déjà vu all over again.” He must have known a dog like Dog. Dog again skipped about and dutifully followed me back the same road we just came down. As I again turned the corner, his young owner (guessing early 20s, so not a child) saw us. She sort of looked at us like we each had 3 eyes. I asked her, “Is this STILL your dog?” Her answer was “How does he keep getting out?” I had an urge to share my guess with her, but decided not to.

She continued to stay on her lawn like if coming off of it would vaporize her. Her father and mother had now come out of the house each trying to surmise how Dog got out again. Apparently they feared vaporization, too because they also stayed firmly on the lawn

I walked Dog all the way on to the grass (as you can see, no harm came to me upon crossing the lawn barrier). They pet and gently scolded him for being naughty. I turned to walk away and Dog bounded after me ready to join me on the walk back. I stopped and the girl grabbed him, careful not to set foot on the pavement (I promise I am not embellishing this). Dog looked somewhat forlornly at me as I heard them say he was off to “the cooler” (my term and aka his kennel) until they could determine his route of escape. I said as they left, “Well, there you go.” I did receive a quick “thank you” as they turned into the house with Dog. Based on the behaviors of all three, I think I understand Dog’s desire for new company!

As I walked back, I kept hearing leaves rustling about behind me. I half expected Dog to have ditched his abode like Hogan’s Heroes escaping Stalag 13. But he wasn’t there. To be candid, as I write this I kind of miss him. Our relationship lasted about a mile’s worth of walking, but his personality was so delightful I found him fun to be around (don’t tell Jack and Bella). Who knows, maybe the next time I walk outside, he will be sitting there ready for our brief walk again!

You can’t make this stuff up!

© 2013 Dan Weedin. All Rights Reserved

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