My mother lived with Barb and me for two and a half years before moving to a memory care facility. We were caregivers for her in the middle of her battle with dementia.
And it was a battle.
Maybe the better way to say it is that there was daily a lot of “drama.” This included arguing, frustration, impatience, bitterness, and sometimes a loss of composure. My mother’s consistent decline in mental capacity and the corresponding behavior was a factor in all our household drama.
But it wasn’t THE factor. Nope. The factor was something more odious.
I was the drama.
My mother had no control over the loss of her mental faculties. She had no control of how it affected her behavior. It turned out that all the stress, exasperation, and drama was caused by my inability to compartmentalize my mother’s condition from who she was at that moment.
That topic could be a whole different missive; but for now my focus is on what causes drama. Specifically, in our businesses, workplaces, and homes.
Over the years, I’ve worked with countless business leaders. At times, many of them have bemoaned issues around “drama” in the workplace. Very often, it’s the one measure of success that rises to the top of a project…reduce the drama!
In a recent podcast interview with brain expert Melina Palmer, she talked about the concept that our brains default to thinking we are always right; that we have the perfect solutions; and that we can prove it to others. It goes hand in hand with the confirmation bias trap we as humans will fall into.
That is what makes it hard to start any conversation about “drama” in the workplace or any relationship group. We will default to looking at others first. I certainly am as guilty as anyone. I did that with my mother. It was her behavior, her actions, and her words.
Yet it wasn’t. It was me. I was actually the drama.
Think about your own situations. We all experience “drama” when dealing in relationships with others in work, family, and associations. Perhaps the next time we analyze the factors causing the turmoil, we should look at ourselves first and ask the question…
“Am I the drama?”
Keep chasing unleashed.
Quote of the Week:
“The opposite of courage is not cowardice, it’s conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow.”
~ Jim Hightower, 20th century American author, commentator, and speaker
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